Gee I haven't been very faithful in posting lately. Oh well :)
Lets see what has been going on... The goats have all found a new home. We've made the decree that never again will goats be found in our pasture. 'nuff said.
Hubby wants to get some baby cows who can get fat and then hit the freezer. We will need a fence upgrade though. So we'll see about that. I still wouldn't mind some more sheep. They don't push through fences (stupid goats) and eat our garden (ARGH!) 3!!! times and devastate our newly planted fruit trees, blueberry bush, cherry bushes, etc etc, and walk through all of our garden beds making huge dents in the soft soil and then make off with most of the salad greens, some corn and various other plants (but not the tomatoes thank goodness).
But I'm not bitter.
They are gone now. Some to continue with their life as fiber animals. Some to be roasted over a spit.
I can now feed the chickens in peace.
The baby chickens are not so baby anymore and we heard the first rooster crow the other night. It was pretty quiet and we haven't heard it since. I'm crossing my fingers that this will turn into a rooster we can keep.
C finished her tball season and was running the bases and hitting the ball pretty well. Now if we can only get her to pay attention to the ball. She is so cute dancing around the outfield though.
They will start swimming lessons in a few weeks. That should be a lot of fun. I have fond memories (for the most part) of when I took swimming lessons. and Mom would ask me what level I was at and I would say "Beginner 1". I think I took that class a few times.
There is a lot of fruit on all of the trees and I'm so excited for the harvest. Speaking of harvest, the tomatoes are doing awesomely. Hubby has pruned all of the suckers and used pantyhose strips to tie the plants along the fencing we have there for support. I was a bit scared but within the first week we noticed that the tomatoes we had were growing faster than I've ever seen and we had gone from 4 tomatoes to 20 tomatoes in about a week and a half. Very worth it.
Did I mention the goats ate the pepper plants again. We replaced them on Saturday with some of the money we sold the goats for. Should be interesting. We got green, purple, orange, and chocolate green peppers. Yes, I may have gone overboard, but they all sounded so cool and we had the room!
We also planted a bunch of dent corn. This is the kind of corn that they use for animal feed. We've gotten a few tips on how to grow it and then after drying will use our hand wheat grinder to crack it a little for the chicken. Hopefully this will cut some of the costs associated with feeding chickens.
Another chicken benefit is that we are trading 5 doz eggs a month for $10 off of preschool tuition. This and getting 1/2 price for me helping out half the time will bring tuition down to around $22.50/month. Believe me that is a bargain! This lady had C reading and I am so proud of her!!!!! I think that because A will have her for 2 years, she will get even further ahead.
The baby chickens are now about 13 weeeks along and should be laying in about 5 more weeks. I'm still uncertain how many roosters we have. I know we have 1 RIR rooster, but the 2 Ameraucana chickens are really hard to sex. So maybe 1 rooster, maybe 3.
On a serious note -
Since my last post I've had emotional ups and downs. I had a really bad day where I came face to face with reality about the baby. Yes it was a baby. Yes it didn't have a chance. But Yes, it needed to be mourned. I was pretty emotional for a few days and was sad. But I'm doing great now. I think my avoiding the issue and not facing it truly, might have made it harder on me and everyone else. But once I faced it I realized that that was why I had been so emotional about the whole changing calling thing and other things that were going on at that time. But I still say it was very wrong of the counselor to release me on my answering machine. I will make a point to say that to him. but now I know that I'm over it and it will be more of a by the way point as opposed to a super emotionally charged thing that it would have been a few weeks ago.
That last paragraph sounds a little unemotional, but just to assure you, I was plenty emotional about it for a little while there. I just think I've processed things and accepted it since then.
Anyway...
We're off to Utah next week for a family reunion. I'm not sure why we are going there since no one lives there. And I'm not sure if more than 3 families will actually make it. But! We're going. We'll stay at my brother's house if he hasn't forgotten about us.
I think the only activities are going to Lagoon (because my b-i-l 's F-i-l is the head grounds keeper there. But can't get us any free or even discount tickets. We're not going because we are not stupid enough to pay almost $140 to take a 3&5 year old to an amusement park which would only amuse them for a few hours. Maye as many as 4.
And the other activity is dinner at the Olive Garden.
Oldest bro won't make it. Sister can't make it. Gay bro will make it due to nothing else to do (currently living with Mom and no job) and another bro may make it due to same issue. Oh, but he is on disability. so that makes it better.
Mom, Us, bro from AZ, and bro from BYU-I, and maybe 2 live at home bros. I guess more will make it than I thought. I think I'm actually looking forward to it more. Still seems like a long way to drive when the cost of gas is so much. Oh well. Its a vacation and we will have fun.
Anything else to add? I think that may be it.
Over and out.
fight.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sometimes its hard to make lemonaide
The animals in my life are forever changing. The angora goats aren't growing a type of fiber that I can use. It's annoying, but they will have to find a new home. No use in feeding them through the winter if they aren't pulling their weight.
We just went to a family reunion at Downata Hot springs near Downey Idaho. Wow that place was a rip off. They didn't charge to much to camp, but you were so close to your neighbors that it felt like we were sardines. They charged 50 cents for a 6 minute shower. Not only were you surrounded by campers, but the pavilions were everywhere. I'm glad we left on saturday because there was no way there were enough toilets for the amount of people who showed up by mid morning before we left. My biggest gripe was how much they charged for swimming. My 3 year old was $1.50. No big deal, right? Well, 4-13 or so paid 8.50. As adults, we paid $10.50. OUCH. Yes, this was an all day pass. Yes, they have 2 huge hydrotube slides and 2 smaller ones at the pool and a water park. And they did give everyone $1 off since we were camping. But with 2 little ones and us, we swam for about 2 hours and were done. Hardly worth the $28 or so that we paid. But as hubby reminded me, it was vacation and we were going to have fun. And we did. But I won't ever go back. We also had to drive 5 or so hours to get there. The cost of gas, camping, swimming, etc. and it was pricey. But we had fun and it did provide a much needed vacation.
We also had some big things happen in the past few weeks. About a week and a half ago I started having some low back pain and some bleeding. I have an IUD so my period is very irregular. I wasn't worried until that afternoon I stood up and felt light headed and woozy. I had my 5 year old bring me the phone and I called my hubby. I called him and asked him to leave work early because I was feeling weird and didn't want to faint in front of the kids and freak out. Something felt wrong. It was about 15 min before 5pm, so I was sure he would probably be able to. The pain I was having was in my left low back. I've never had cramps there before.
I laid down and waited for my hubby to come home and thought about what might be happening, maybe receiving a little inspiration, who knows. By the time my hubby came home I had a suspicion that I might be pregnant, and if I was, it was ectopic.
When he came home, he dug out a pregnancy test. I should point out that ever since I got an IUD I was paranoid about pregnancy because if it were to happen with an IUD it would most likely be ectopic. so whenever I felt weird, had a strange period, etc, I would take a test. I went through about 3 tests in 3 years, so I wasn't all that paranoid. Just enough that hubby would give me a box of tests for a gag gift in my Christmas stocking.
Anyway, he dug it out and to our surprise it came out positive. We were stunned. I called my doctors office right away and the doctor on call called me back and said call for an appointment first thing in the morning or if your pain gets bad, go to the ER.
Well, I woke up around 1:30 with bad pain. We went to our local ER instead of driving to the hospital my doctor is associated with. It was closer and I was in pain. Thinking back I probably could have held out for the other hospital, but I think it was for the better because it allowed our friends to easily pick up our kids and ward members to visit without having to drive 30 minutes.
Anyway, after a catheter, and drawing blood they were able to confirm that I was pregnant. Well, duh.
They had to do a pelvic (oh joy!) but at least the doctor was nice. In fact strangely cheerful for it being so early in the morning. Next I got to endure a painful vaginal ultrasound. Yeeha! The ultra sound tech said that she couldn't tell me anything. The radiologist had to be the one to do that. Ugh.
Back to my room to wait for the results. We waited for about an hour.
The kids did great this whole time. After the first hour or so, Milton took the kids home to change their clothes and then over to Wal-Mart for snacks and treats. He came back about the time I came back from the ultrasound. Things are a little fuzzy here, but at some point the cheerful doctor came in to tell us that a local OBGYN was coming in to consult and that if he was a women he would go to this doctor and that he highly recommended him.
Anyway to make a long story short the ultrasound showed a growth in my fallopian tube and I would need surgery. We discussed the possibility of it being simply a growth and what would happen if the pregnancy was in my uterus etc. the doctor was great and said that if all possible he would preserve the pregnancy.
I have to say that I was pretty sure that a baby would not come of this pregnancy. It just didn't seem possible.
So at 9am I was off to surgery. I was freaked out since I've never done this before. The kids were picked up by a friend right before we went down so Milton was able to be with me right until I went into the OR.
It was a huge room that was way to big for just me. the anesthesiologist was LDS and Milton and he were talking BYU sports before we went into the OR. He and I were joking about how he didn't need to talk to me about drinking or smoking. I said, "yeah, and all those recreational drugs". It was funny at the time.
Anyway within about 5 minutes I was under. It was unpleasant because I remember opening my eyes and not being able to focus. Also they put this thing over my nose and mouth and I couldn't breathe comfortably. I remember saying over and over "I can't breathe" and that was how I went under. I think next time I'll be having a conversation about how I want to go under.
I woke up and remember saying "I feel like crap" and it was like I couldn't wake up. You know those sunday naps where you just can't seem to come out of it? That was how it was. After a while I came out of it enough to go up to a room. What was strange is as they were rolling me out I remember seeing another man on a gurney near me. Maybe he was next? I don't know. but that would freak me out to be him! Can you imagine being wheeled into an OR where someone was already out?
I spent the next 5-6 hours in a room trying to wake up. I slept a lot and remember hubby saying, I just want to take you home. I suspect he was tired and wanted to sleep but I was pretty out of it.
We went home about 5 or so and a lady from the ward brought dinner. She also came and got the kids the next day. the ward brought dinner over for 6 days. It was so nice.
I'm doing fine now. Almost all healed. The baby doesn't seem real. I don't think it seemed real at all until a girl in my nursery class today said "did your baby die?" and then for some reason it hit me. We only knew for about 15 hours about the pregnancy and the baby didn't have a chance. On one hand I feel shallow and on the other hand I'm glad it's not a huge deal, and then sometimes I feel a little sad for what could have been.
The result is that we will most likely try and get pregnant soon. I'm not sure if it's the healthiest choice for me, since I need to lose weight. But we are thinking hard about it. We'll see.
The other thing that is bugging me is that the ladies in my ward are now all weird towards me. I'm moving on and getting over things but they keep giving me sympathetic looks and "how are you doing?s. You know the ones. They are the ones that can't be answered with an I'm fine how are you?
I also was released from my calling in the nursery. This one ticks me off because the guy released me not only over the phone, but on our answering machine. That was cold.
And! didn't even call me back when I left a message on his machine asking him to.
I think it's someone's mistaken thinking that it will be hard for me to be in nursery.
On the contrary. When I was released today (never got to talk to the counselor) I started crying. It made me sad and I felt like I was being punished. I cried more over that than the baby. Maybe I was more affected by that because of the baby. I don't know.
Anyway, now that hubby is in the elders quorum we can't teach the wolf scouts together anymore. I really really don't want to have to be with another partner. It will be so hard after doing that calling with him. If one of us was having a bad day, the other one took the lead. We would get all the chores done together so that they house would be clean and ready. We had so much fun. I don't want this calling anymore.
But how do you ask to be released from a calling when you're sure that would be a bad thing? You don't ask to be released from callings.. And who knows what calling I would end up with after that.
UGH. Why does everything have to be hard at once?
Why can't I just be in nursery and not have the scout calling anymore? That is what the stake councelor told my hubby is what would be happening, so that is what I was expecting.
Anyway, sorry for the whining. Its been a TOUGH day and not a great month.
We just went to a family reunion at Downata Hot springs near Downey Idaho. Wow that place was a rip off. They didn't charge to much to camp, but you were so close to your neighbors that it felt like we were sardines. They charged 50 cents for a 6 minute shower. Not only were you surrounded by campers, but the pavilions were everywhere. I'm glad we left on saturday because there was no way there were enough toilets for the amount of people who showed up by mid morning before we left. My biggest gripe was how much they charged for swimming. My 3 year old was $1.50. No big deal, right? Well, 4-13 or so paid 8.50. As adults, we paid $10.50. OUCH. Yes, this was an all day pass. Yes, they have 2 huge hydrotube slides and 2 smaller ones at the pool and a water park. And they did give everyone $1 off since we were camping. But with 2 little ones and us, we swam for about 2 hours and were done. Hardly worth the $28 or so that we paid. But as hubby reminded me, it was vacation and we were going to have fun. And we did. But I won't ever go back. We also had to drive 5 or so hours to get there. The cost of gas, camping, swimming, etc. and it was pricey. But we had fun and it did provide a much needed vacation.
We also had some big things happen in the past few weeks. About a week and a half ago I started having some low back pain and some bleeding. I have an IUD so my period is very irregular. I wasn't worried until that afternoon I stood up and felt light headed and woozy. I had my 5 year old bring me the phone and I called my hubby. I called him and asked him to leave work early because I was feeling weird and didn't want to faint in front of the kids and freak out. Something felt wrong. It was about 15 min before 5pm, so I was sure he would probably be able to. The pain I was having was in my left low back. I've never had cramps there before.
I laid down and waited for my hubby to come home and thought about what might be happening, maybe receiving a little inspiration, who knows. By the time my hubby came home I had a suspicion that I might be pregnant, and if I was, it was ectopic.
When he came home, he dug out a pregnancy test. I should point out that ever since I got an IUD I was paranoid about pregnancy because if it were to happen with an IUD it would most likely be ectopic. so whenever I felt weird, had a strange period, etc, I would take a test. I went through about 3 tests in 3 years, so I wasn't all that paranoid. Just enough that hubby would give me a box of tests for a gag gift in my Christmas stocking.
Anyway, he dug it out and to our surprise it came out positive. We were stunned. I called my doctors office right away and the doctor on call called me back and said call for an appointment first thing in the morning or if your pain gets bad, go to the ER.
Well, I woke up around 1:30 with bad pain. We went to our local ER instead of driving to the hospital my doctor is associated with. It was closer and I was in pain. Thinking back I probably could have held out for the other hospital, but I think it was for the better because it allowed our friends to easily pick up our kids and ward members to visit without having to drive 30 minutes.
Anyway, after a catheter, and drawing blood they were able to confirm that I was pregnant. Well, duh.
They had to do a pelvic (oh joy!) but at least the doctor was nice. In fact strangely cheerful for it being so early in the morning. Next I got to endure a painful vaginal ultrasound. Yeeha! The ultra sound tech said that she couldn't tell me anything. The radiologist had to be the one to do that. Ugh.
Back to my room to wait for the results. We waited for about an hour.
The kids did great this whole time. After the first hour or so, Milton took the kids home to change their clothes and then over to Wal-Mart for snacks and treats. He came back about the time I came back from the ultrasound. Things are a little fuzzy here, but at some point the cheerful doctor came in to tell us that a local OBGYN was coming in to consult and that if he was a women he would go to this doctor and that he highly recommended him.
Anyway to make a long story short the ultrasound showed a growth in my fallopian tube and I would need surgery. We discussed the possibility of it being simply a growth and what would happen if the pregnancy was in my uterus etc. the doctor was great and said that if all possible he would preserve the pregnancy.
I have to say that I was pretty sure that a baby would not come of this pregnancy. It just didn't seem possible.
So at 9am I was off to surgery. I was freaked out since I've never done this before. The kids were picked up by a friend right before we went down so Milton was able to be with me right until I went into the OR.
It was a huge room that was way to big for just me. the anesthesiologist was LDS and Milton and he were talking BYU sports before we went into the OR. He and I were joking about how he didn't need to talk to me about drinking or smoking. I said, "yeah, and all those recreational drugs". It was funny at the time.
Anyway within about 5 minutes I was under. It was unpleasant because I remember opening my eyes and not being able to focus. Also they put this thing over my nose and mouth and I couldn't breathe comfortably. I remember saying over and over "I can't breathe" and that was how I went under. I think next time I'll be having a conversation about how I want to go under.
I woke up and remember saying "I feel like crap" and it was like I couldn't wake up. You know those sunday naps where you just can't seem to come out of it? That was how it was. After a while I came out of it enough to go up to a room. What was strange is as they were rolling me out I remember seeing another man on a gurney near me. Maybe he was next? I don't know. but that would freak me out to be him! Can you imagine being wheeled into an OR where someone was already out?
I spent the next 5-6 hours in a room trying to wake up. I slept a lot and remember hubby saying, I just want to take you home. I suspect he was tired and wanted to sleep but I was pretty out of it.
We went home about 5 or so and a lady from the ward brought dinner. She also came and got the kids the next day. the ward brought dinner over for 6 days. It was so nice.
I'm doing fine now. Almost all healed. The baby doesn't seem real. I don't think it seemed real at all until a girl in my nursery class today said "did your baby die?" and then for some reason it hit me. We only knew for about 15 hours about the pregnancy and the baby didn't have a chance. On one hand I feel shallow and on the other hand I'm glad it's not a huge deal, and then sometimes I feel a little sad for what could have been.
The result is that we will most likely try and get pregnant soon. I'm not sure if it's the healthiest choice for me, since I need to lose weight. But we are thinking hard about it. We'll see.
The other thing that is bugging me is that the ladies in my ward are now all weird towards me. I'm moving on and getting over things but they keep giving me sympathetic looks and "how are you doing?s. You know the ones. They are the ones that can't be answered with an I'm fine how are you?
I also was released from my calling in the nursery. This one ticks me off because the guy released me not only over the phone, but on our answering machine. That was cold.
And! didn't even call me back when I left a message on his machine asking him to.
I think it's someone's mistaken thinking that it will be hard for me to be in nursery.
On the contrary. When I was released today (never got to talk to the counselor) I started crying. It made me sad and I felt like I was being punished. I cried more over that than the baby. Maybe I was more affected by that because of the baby. I don't know.
Anyway, now that hubby is in the elders quorum we can't teach the wolf scouts together anymore. I really really don't want to have to be with another partner. It will be so hard after doing that calling with him. If one of us was having a bad day, the other one took the lead. We would get all the chores done together so that they house would be clean and ready. We had so much fun. I don't want this calling anymore.
But how do you ask to be released from a calling when you're sure that would be a bad thing? You don't ask to be released from callings.. And who knows what calling I would end up with after that.
UGH. Why does everything have to be hard at once?
Why can't I just be in nursery and not have the scout calling anymore? That is what the stake councelor told my hubby is what would be happening, so that is what I was expecting.
Anyway, sorry for the whining. Its been a TOUGH day and not a great month.
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