I have to think of a title?

Today I decided that I needed someone to talk to besides my 2 daughters. C is 2 and A is 3 months. Needless to say, they don't talk. We had the Elders over for Dinner last night and we were talking along... one mentioned that they were from Virginia and I said something about South Virginia and they were like "don't you mean West Virginia" And I felt so stupid. I realized that I've been a stay at home Mom to long. I feel like I've been losing knowledge since I started being a Mother. I don't usually watch the news, and the only people I have conversations with seem to be family, or church friends. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Usually those conversations center around kids, scouts (my calling), other family members, etc. The only person I talk about the news with is my hubby. And we don't see each other enough to talk about that all the time.

I've decided that I really don't want anyone I know to read these blogs. Kind of funny I know, but I want this to be a place where I don't have to worry about being judged or worry about what people think. I want it to be a place where I can find myself again. Someone to talk to (even if its myself) and a place to sort out my thoughts.

Am I lost? Well, sort of. I feel like before I had kids I had my own identity. I knew who I was and what I wanted. I don't know if I'm making sense. But anyway. You'll find that I often don't make sense. OK, so before I had kids I knew who I was and now I feel like I'm a bit lost. Me. Lost.

I have a lot that I can talk about so I thought I would start with me.

My husband and I come from large Mormon families. His had 7 kids, mine had 10. More on that in later posts.
We got married 3 1/2 years ago and now have 2 little girls. We live in Idaho, and we love it.

Today is Saturday 1/8/05. This morning DH is helping someone move into our ward. After that he is going to help his sister pick up some furniture at K-Mart and get it to her home.

I enjoy the fact that he is so willing to help people in our ward. I like that he is always there to help. We need the blessings. In fact it was how we started dating. But sometimes I wish he could stay home and we could spend more time together. Sometimes I feel like it isn't fair. He works Tues-Fri 6am to 6pm. He only needs to work 10 hours, not 12, but he feels like it gives us more money to save. That is his choice and something he decided on his own. That is fine with me because I believe in SAVING. But it means that he doesn't get home until just after 6. We eat dinner, we watch TV, we do things as a family, and then he is off to bed at 9. Yep we get a whole 3 hours together. I get the kids to bed at 9:30 and 10, and then I spend about an hour relishing having the whole house to myself. All mine. I don't have to watch The Wiggles, or sports. I can crochet. I can play computer games. etc. I can do whatever I want. And no diapers! So he leaves at 5:45 in the morning for work, and I get up around 8:45 to shower and then get the girls up. C gets up just after 9 and A gets up (hopefully) around the same time. A is doing really well and last night slept through the night! Usually she gets up once to nurse. I feel really blessed because C got up multiple times during the night until she was about 9 months old.

Anyway, we do have Sat, Sun, Mon to spend time together. But there is house cleaning and grocery shopping and a whole slew of things to take up that time. Sunday's he's serving as a ward clerk. So that means early meetings. We just changed to 1pm church so now I'll be able to see him before church and he can spend time with the girls and I'll have a little help. But that means less time in the evenings to relax. Monday's we like to go out to eat, a sort of date, with the girls. We usually do our grocery shopping, and other chores. But really, the day is sort of complicated by the fact that I have scouts from 4:30-5:30 every monday. So I have Saturday as the one day with nothing else scheduled in it to spend time with him.

I'll end this post with a list

My Guilty Pleasures:

Crocheting
Subway
Chocolate
Gilmore Girls
Roller Coaster Tycoon
Nancy Drew computer games
long showers
someone else doing the dishes
baby kisses and toddler hugs